The Cunning Design of Advertisements

As Americans we are bombarded with advertisements constantly. In modern day society there really is no escaping it. Estimates range greatly in how many ads a person is exposed to daily, with the lower end being 250 and the higher end 3,000 (El-Hady 2013). Regardless of which estimates are more accurate, there really is no denying that the marketing industry has great influence and power in our country. So, what is the end goal of all this advertising? To put it plainly, it is to sell us a product or service and make a profit. This, in and of itself, is not wrong. But, the tactics some marketers use to reach this goal are less than ethical. One common and powerful tactic used is the process of creating insecurities in consumers. The ads are purposefully designed to make you feel bad about yourself or your life. Simply put, marketers create a problem for you, then offer their product or service as the solution to that problem. They do this in many different ways, depending on their target audience. Let's take a look at some of the ways these types of ads target women...

Above, I have posted a magazine ad featuring the very famous Drew Barrymore, with promises that if you buy this particular smoky eye shadow and liner you will be 'smokin' just like her. Look closely at the ad... do you see a single line on her face? Any uneven skin tones? Any zits, moles, freckles? What about her body size? Does that look like Drew Barrymore's natural size? Does her skin really glow like that? How does this picture make you feel about your own skin, your own body, your own face? Are you feeling insecure yet? 

There was a study, conducted in 1995, that showed that 70% of women felt depressed, guilty, and shameful after only 3 minutes of looking through a fashion magazine (Bradley University 2013). How do you feel when you flip through magazines or see certain ads pop-up on your Facebook feed? If they make you feel bad about yourself, I will tell you that it is not by accident. Advertisements targeting women almost always contain models with body types that only 5% of the population possess. Many times the models themselves do not possess that body type either, but are photoshopped to look as though they do. Aside from body types, the models are digitally changed from head to toe until they resemble something that is no longer human, but plastic. We are then told that this is what makes a woman beautiful, this is what will make YOU happy. That's what all marketers are selling really...happiness. If women were happy with their body type, their wrinkles, their natural appearance, and their life    how would they get us to buy products that 'fix' those things? We may not be able to change the advertising industry, but we can choose to look at these ads more critically and see them for what they really are. Start recognizing how certain ads make you feel, then pick those ads apart. Open your eyes to the fact that the women portrayed are not real women. Don't buy into the lie that these fake, digitally enhanced women are beautiful. See that YOU are beautiful. See that ALL women are beautiful.

I wanted to end my post with another photo of Drew Barrymore. Notice the drastic difference between this natural photo and the advertisement photo above. I'm not posting this photo to say, "hey, look Drew Barrymore is really ugly without makeup and digital enhancements." Just the opposite, actually. Drew Barrymore is a beautiful woman and this picture shows it. She is beautiful with her blemishes, and her wrinkles, and her body fat. She is beautiful without layers of makeup and digital alterations...and so are YOU.

Sources

El-Haidy, Z. 2013. The Dogma of Advertising and Consumerism. The Huffington Post. Retrieved from http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/ziad-elhady/the-dogma-of-advertising-_b_2540390.html

Bradley University. 2013. The Body Project. Retrieved from: http://www.bradley.edu/sites/bodyproject/

Painful Regrets and Moving Forward

I'm switching gears just a little bit today on my blog. The following post is more for me than anyone else. I hadn't even considered writing about this part of my life until just a few days ago. There has been an ever-present, nagging feeling since the thought came to me. My hope is that writing this out for others to see, will bring healing in my own life.

I've spent the greater part of the last year running and hiding. I thought that if I could just keep myself busy enough, maybe I would never have to truly face what was chasing me. The thing about running is that you eventually tire out, and when you do you must turn around and face what is behind you. In July of 2012 my family experienced an enormous and life altering tragedy. Our dear Brittany left us way before her time, and in very tragic circumstances. When talking about loved ones, I often hear sentiments like this, "tell the people in your life you love them, because it may be your last chance." I'm not going to say that this quote isn't good advice...it is. But, over the course of this past year, quotes like this one have haunted me. You see, I was very angry with Brittany in the weeks leading up to her death. I can't count how many times I have replayed in my mind the last time I saw her, which was exactly one week before she passed. Every time I do, my thoughts turn to a never ending series of what if's:

What if I had just talked to her, instead of avoiding her in my anger?

What if I had put my arms around her and expressed my love for her?

What if I had placed my hands upon her cheeks, looked into those sky blue eyes and said, "Brittany there is hope, there is always hope and you are worth it"?

What if I had told her that I knew she was strong enough?

What if I had told her that she would always be my sister, no matter what?

What if? What if? What if?

The what if's are enough to make a person lose their mind. When I found out she was gone, the anger dissolved instantly and was replaced with pain, helplessness, and overwhelming guilt. I suspected that maybe the anger would return as I went through the grieving process, but it never did. Maybe it was because I knew, to a certain extent, where Brittany's thoughts were before she died. There is no way for me to know all that she had been thinking, but I have been in a place of complete and utter hopelessness more than once in my life. I know the irrational thinking that takes place in that dark space. I know with 100% certainty that Brittany was not in her right mind. There is no anger in me, only HEAVY guilt that I have carried for far too long. That is the purpose of this post today... I know that I can carry it no longer, lest my knees buckle and my back break. Today, I commit to handing it over to him, he who can carry it. For, his "yoke is easy and his burden light." I know he wants me to let go. I know Brittany would not want me to carry on the way I have been. It is time to move forward. I know it is time. I choose now to honor Brittany's life, instead of feel guilt over her death. I will spend the rest of my life loving her precious boys, and remembering Brittany for who she is, not how she died.

Now, back to the quote I mentioned earlier about last chances. The truth is, I know that the last time I saw Brittany on this Earth was not my last chance. Death can feel so final, but it is not. I know Brittany lives on, and I know that she has heard me the many times I have cried out to her. I know that I WILL have my chance to give her that hug and look into those sky blue eyes again. It is NEVER too late to make things right. And, although it is a noble goal to strive to ALWAYS show your love to the people you care about, it is also important to realize that we are only human, and in so being, are susceptible to human emotions like anger. I thank you Brittany for all you have taught me. I love you always- you sassy, beautiful girl.

Let's Talk About Fat

"Let's Talk About Fat" Part 1 (originally posted September 9th, 2013)

During my inpatient treatment at the Center For Change, if anybody said something along the lines of "I feel fat," It was always followed by other patients, care techs, or therapists reminding the person that "fat is not a feeling." It would force us to stop and think about what was actually going on with our emotions, instead of taking those emotions out on our bodies. That's really what is happening in most people with eating disorders or body image problems. Instead of coping with difficult emotions such as: sadness, loneliness, fear, anger, etc; a person attacks their own body. There becomes a false belief that if they could just make their body perfect enough, then the bad feelings would go away. It has been so eye opening for me to come to the understanding that 'feeling fat' actually has nothing to do with my body, but with my emotions. There have been many times in my recovery, when I wake up in the morning feeling good about my body and am totally fine with what I see in the mirror, but then something might happen. Maybe I have something very stressful come up in the day, or maybe I get my feelings hurt by someone, or maybe I just start feeling lonely. No matter what it is, the same thing will always happen. My pants will instantly feel tighter. I will look in the mirror and see flaws that I didn't see just hours earlier. I will find myself believing that I have gained 15 or 20 pounds within less than a day's time and I will literally see a heavier person in the mirror. After 12 years of recovery, I have become very aware of these distorted thoughts. The distortions still happen on a pretty regular basis in my life, but they no longer have so much power over me. Instead of letting myself give into and believe the distortions, I am able to reflect upon what is really going on with me that day. From that point, I can choose to cope with my emotions in a healthy and effective way. Now I ask you, my readers, to think about this concept when you find yourself  'feeling fat' or 'feeling ugly.' I encourage you to tell yourself that 'fat and ugly are not feelings.' Start paying attention when you have these 'feelings' and ask yourself, "what am I really feeling?"

So if fat is NOT a feeling, what is it?

I want to take a minute and talk about the word, 'fat,' as it is used in modern day, American culture. It is a word that is feared and carries many negative connotations with it. Fat actually has three different uses in the English language. I want to talk about all 3:

1. Fat is used to describe a nutrient found in many of the foods we eat. The diet industry has propagated a deep fear of this essential nutrient. With all the fat-free foods and diets on the market today, many people have come to believe that all fat is bad. This is not true! There are so many GOOD fats that our body needs. Did you know that when it was discovered  that our body actually needed fat, it was called Vitamin F? Fat, as it is called now, is essential for the absorption of fat soluble nutrients like Vitamin A and Vitamin E. Certain fats, like omega-3, also help our brain function better (Resch, Tribole 2012). Would we be so afraid to eat foods with fat in them, especially quality fats, if we started seeing fat as a nutrient instead of something so horrible?  
2. Fat is used to describe adipose tissue in our bodies. We NEED adipose tissue, or fat, in our bodies. Not only does fat store energy in the body, but it serves as a cushion and protection to our internal organs (Science Daily 2013). Another major purpose for adipose tissue is its insulation properties. It provides our bodies with protection from both the heat and the cold (Science Daily 2013). Without fat on our bodies, we would be unable to regulate our body temperature. If you started viewing FAT as something that protects you & helps you, would that change your outlook on the fat in your own body? Could you actually find yourself being grateful for that fat?
3. Fat is used, in modern day culture, as an adjective. This word has become a word with many negative connotations in our society. It is no longer just used to describe someone; instead it is used to label and demean others or ourselves. It seems to be perfectly socially acceptable to poke fun at someone that is of a bigger body size. People with bigger body sizes have judgements being made about them on a regular basis. It is often just assumed that they are just lazy, gluttonous, unhealthy, and unable to practice self-control. These misconceptions are unfair, and lead to bullying and pain and do not encourage anyone to take care of their bodies or see their bodies as a gift. It often leads people down the other road. Why would you want to take care of something you hate? It is also a contributing factor to eating disorders, and puts fear in our children. This is part of the 'why' behind some of the statistics I mentioned in previous posts. 
   
   
   
   
   If we could see 'fat' for what it really is and not what the media has taught us about it, could we stop the fear and negative connotations surrounding this simple word? Could we nurture a more healthy relationship with our own bodies that is not dependent on how much fat we have or don't have? Could we be able to focus more on health & self care, instead of appearance? Could we re-learn that our value as a human being and a child of a loving God does not change with a number on a scale? Could we discover that our worth is not found in numbers? 

Sources

Resch, E. & Tribole, E. 2012. Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Program That Works. St. Martin's Press: New York, NY. 

Science Daily. 2013. Adipose Tissue. Retrieved on September 9, 2013 from: http://www.sciencedaily.com/articles/a/adipose_tissue.htm

My Exercise Autobiography

Exercise in My Childhood

I was like most most young kids...active and adventurous. My grandpa lived next door and I spent much of my youth running around his farm and playing games in the fields. I loved riding my bike, swimming in the pond near my home, and playing night games with the neighborhood kids. I also took dance lessons and played little league softball. Never once did I associate any of these activities with changing my body.  I was active for no other reason than it was fun and it made me feel good. I had no idea what calories were or that being active could burn them. 

         

Exercise in My Early Adolescence
Two very significant things happened the year I turned 12: my parents bought me my first trampoline, and I started power tumbling lessons. A new passion had been unleashed and I was obsessed. Actually, obsessed is probably not even a strong enough word to describe it. POSSESSED might be more fitting. It was not uncommon for me to come right home from school and jump on the trampoline until bed time, only stopping to eat dinner or grab a drink. In the winters I would go out in my snowsuit and shovel 2 to 3 feet of snow off of the trampoline just so I could practice my tricks. Rain, snow, freezing temperatures, blistering heat...none of it stopped me. I was power tumbling twice a week and participating in competitions on the weekends. It was as if this athlete inside of me had fully emerged, and I felt empowered. Again, none of this ever correlated itself with trying to change my body, lose weight, or burn calories. Nope, I only did this because I truly loved it. It was exhilarating every time I learned a new skill or made improvements on an existing skill. I remember talking to a friend about heaven. My vision of heaven had been miles and miles of trampolines that I could do never ending flips and aerials on. Looking back, it's evident that this is about the same time the first signs of  my clinical depression began to emerge. I didn't know what clinical depression was at the time, nor did I know I was suffering from it. I only knew that I was hurting and that power tumbling made me feel better. I had no knowledge of endorphins and their relationship to exercise, but nonetheless, I was subconsciously medicating myself with this powerful and natural anti-depressant. 

Exercise in My Eating Disorder
I was 14 when my eating disorder developed and it completely changed my relationship with exercise. power tumbling became a way to burn off calories, and with this change in motivation came an eventual loss of passion. Soon, I dropped off my power tumbling team, and jumping on the trampoline became more of a chore than something I loved doing. My body also recognized that physical activity didn't feel as good anymore. I wasn't properly nourished to do such rigorous activities like power tumbling. I became lightheaded and dizzy, instead of energized like I had in the past. For whatever reason, my love of dance seemed to stay intact throughout high school, and I became a member of the drill team. This was actually a pretty positive thing for me. I felt more motivated to quit my eating disorder behaviors, because I was part of a team and I knew others were counting on me. All throughout high school I was on a roller coaster. Some times I was very motivated to get better, and other times I just wanted to give up. My weight reflected this roller coaster and it fluctuated A LOT. As the eating disorder progressed, exercise became a way to torture my body. Many times I would stay up all night and just do exercise videos over and over until morning (this was so I could hide my obsession from my family). I secretly exercised in my room for hours at a time. There was nothing fun about exercise anymore. It got even worse as I went off to college. I couldn't do the simplest physical activity without passing out and scaring my friends to death. One night, after I had been out exercising, I ended up passing out outside of my apartment complex and then was taken to the Emergency Room for severe electrolyte imbalances. This was the turning point for me. I had hit rock bottom, and knew that my body couldn't take much more abuse. It was either death or treatment. I chose treatment.

Exercise in Early Recovery 

Intuitive exercise (which I will discuss in more detail in future posts) is one of the principles of Intuitive Eating, so learning to develop a healthy relationship with exercise was part of my treatment at the Center For Change. We weren't allowed to exercise until we reached a certain phase, and even then we could only do it at certain times or during certain groups. In treatment, I started to make some healthy connections with exercise, but I still had a very long way to go. After leaving the Center For Change, It seemed that any time I did try to incorporate exercise into my life, eating disorder thoughts would overwhelm me. It was far too triggering early on, and so I had to tread very slowly. My recovery mattered more to me than anything else, so exercise was put on the back burner until I felt I had recovered enough for it to be something positive in my life.

Snowboarding and My Recovery

 In early recovery, I had longed for physical activity and physical fitness. I so desperately missed that part of myself. I didn't know how to reconnect to the healthy love of exercise that I once had. About 7 or 8 months after leaving treatment, Josh (my boyfriend, who is now my husband) & I bought season passes to the Canyons Ski Resort. Before treatment, he had taken me back country snowboarding a couple of times, but my sick body could not withstand the rigor of the sport and I often ended up passing out. This decision, to give the sport another try, was the beginning of  me reclaiming the athlete that had always been a part of me. Once again a passion was born. I found it easy to push eating disorder thoughts out of my mind, as I focused on learning a new skill. The first day on the slopes I met, who is to this day, one of my very best friends. It was her first day too and we learned together, laughing at each other along the way. All season long we went at least weekly, and sometimes several times a week. That familiar exhilaration of learning a new, physical skill returned and I was hooked. Most days we would go for 7 or 8 hours, with little down time. Often, my muscles would be so sore the next day that I could barely walk. To me, this feeling was WONDERFUL. It meant my body was becoming stronger, it was recovering. I was reclaiming something that my eating disorder had taken from me. The athlete, that had been buried deep down inside, was once again emerging and so many positive connections were being made. I had some of my very best friends, as well as the love of my life, by my side. It was so very different than the exercise I had experienced in the dark days of my eating disorder. My fitness levels improved so much and it felt AMAZING. By the end of the season, it all felt so easy. I wasn't out of breath, or too sore, or too tired after a full day of snowboarding. This new awakening led to discovering and rediscovering other passions as well. I started jumping on the trampoline again, and power tumbling in my back yard. My life started filling up with things like: hiking, swimming at the lake, and wake boarding. My winters from that point on were ALWAYS filled with snowboarding, and I will ALWAYS have a passion for the sport that reconnected me to my inner athlete.

Getting Back Into 'Formal' Exercise

Josh and I got married, and together we lived a pretty active lifestyle through our different hobbies and interests, but I still didn't have much desire to do any kind of formal exercise. It scared me. I didn't want anything to get in the way of my recovery. Every now and again I would go to the gym, but there were always so many triggers. Doing exercise videos at home brought back bad memories and I couldn't enjoy it. At the time, I didn't really know how to come up with my own exercises, so formal exercise was not a very big part of my life over the next few years. That was until the birth of my first child, Jaxon, in 2005. I fell into a deep postpartum depression, Josh was working and going to school, Jaxon was extremely colicky, I was adjustinging to being home full time, and I was unable to go out and do the things that normally had kept me active. I knew I needed to do something to nurture myself during this difficult time. I decided to buy a gym pass, which included daycare for Jaxon. I started going to the morning workout classes 5 days a week. Before my very first time going, I gave myself a pep talk that I would not go to these classes to lose weight or change my body, I would only go to these classes to take care of my body and mind. This would be my ONLY motivation for exercising. I knew I would be surrounded by women, with different motives and I prepared myself for that. As I started going, I realized how much progress I had actually made in disconnecting exercise from weight loss. The women's comments had very little effect on me. There was one instructor that was very extreme in the way she tried to motivate the class to lose weight and diet. My answer to not being effected by her comments, was to simply tune them out. Sometimes I would repeat positive affirmations in my head, until the class was over. It felt SO GOOD to be moving again, and to see the progress in my fitness levels. I felt the powerful effect this ritual of daily exercise had on my mental health. Kickboxing was my most favorite class of all. I could go in their and beat the crap out of the kickboxing bag, and release all the stress and frustration that was pent up inside. During the weight lifting classes, I remember doing weighted squats and just thinking about how easy snowboarding through the powder would be with my tougher legs. This one hour of physical activity at the gym, was my time and I looked forward to it everyday. 

Exercise Now

I continued working out at the gym for almost 7 years. It was only about a year and a half ago that I transitioned to working out at my own home. I was worried at first about doing my own thing, and not having an instructor there to tell me what to do. I was also worried about it not being able to be my own time anymore, since I wouldn't have the daycare for my kids. It all worked out though. I guess when exercise has become something you love, you find a way to make it work. I get up and do my workouts at 6 a.m. and have actually become a morning person (this is a miracle for me, believe me). My two older kids are usually awake at 6:00 or 6:30, but they either watch a movie, play upstairs by themselves, or come and join me (which is absolutely adorable when they do). I started out doing CrossFit workouts from their website, and eventually decided to design my own workouts from what I had learned. Working out is what gets me up and going every morning. It gives me energy to tackle my role as a mom. I continue to keep my focus on nurturing myself and fitness and OFF my appearance. I have reached a level of strength and endurance that I would have never thought possible for me. I exercise for no other reason than it is fun and it makes me feel good.  And now, we have come full circle.